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Title: The Last Kiss
Director: Tony Goldwyn
Original Release: 2006
Awesome Rating: Thumbs Up

Well......

It was the last something. I don't know what it is about movies with the word "Last" in them but it seems to be the kiss of death.

The Last Legion -

Last Action Hero -

The Last Unicorn - I know... HEYWAIT! WARMFUZZIECHILDHOODMEMORIESNOTOUCHZONEALERT. Just go back and watch it. Now. As a grown up. Stellar cast but it gives new definitions to the terms "tone deaf" and "repeat photography". It's a gloriously bad movie, but a bad one nonetheless.

Save the Last Dance - another warm fuzzy flick but lets be honest, its a glorified after school special. Much like Ferngully: the Last Rain forest.

I Know What You Did Last Summer...

There were a few good ones that have dodged the curse:

The Last Samauri
The Last King of Scotland
The Last of the Mohicans
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
X-Men: Last Stand

So any forensic specialist, such as myself (I've completed the 15 hour course of Law and Order viewing - don't worry) can see that only John Williams, super powers, being on foreign soil, or all 3 can or will save you from the Curse of Lastness. This movie had none.

Zack - you let me down man.

Garden State set such a high bar for the faithful indie music jokesters that compile and populate the Zack Braff message boards. We were expecting the back lit 5' Taz plush Fair prize of a movie and what we got was a snaggle-toothed mini-stuffed opossum from a carnie with a strange semblance who looks at you like you ought to be pleased. Those milk bottles are weighted man -

It wasn't a train wreck of a film but it was much like unto teaching a 15 year old how to drive stick in a parking lot with speed bumps. Completely unpredictable, deafeningly irrelevant, angry but with a good soundtrack.

It had all the bones of a good movie, great actors, multiple and entwining story lines, rural town setting... All cinematic properties were in effect except everything employing the art of story telling ie: pacing, editing and writing. They seemed to have been second to a lot of sex and couples endlessly fighting and then making up with a shrug.

If you're looking for realistic relationship type stuff I suggest Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It drives home the point much better.

Sorry to be brutal Zack. I still love you but I gotta write whats on my heart. No snaggle-toothed opossums here.